First, this is not a fetish or requirement of mine; I think it's important to get that out of the way. Every woman has something beautiful about them, and I doubt many of them owe their beauty solely to their bangs. If you happen to owe every head turn to your bangs and it's not because you poofed your hair up and we find your plumage strange, rock them forever, I suppose.
It's just a weird coincidence that I made fun of a girl for having bangs one day and the next day realized that every woman who exists solely to give my mp3 player less-y chromosomes has bangs in their music videos or rocks them all the time. Yes, I will continue to use the phrase "rocks her bangs" for the entirety of this exorcism of forehead follicle demons.We will present the ladies in order of how sexily they rock the bangs, or randomly. Like it matters either way. As always Facebook will not post the videos, so follow the link to get the entire picture; they are linked if you hate embedded videos.
Carla Bruni - "Quelqu'un m'a dit"
Yes, I'm obsessed with this video. Yes, I may think women in men's dress shirts are one of the strangest accidental discoveries that men have achieved in their efforts to make ourselves more putty-like. Yes, I realize that this partially has the opposite effect in first-person. No, I will not stop answering questions that no one asked. Just watch Mrs. Sarkozy, the French First Lady, otherwise known for being smoking hot, and I think banging Mick Jagger.* Then comment on how much you either love me or despise me for making you watch it. If you love me, manhood is awesome. If you hate me, you hate France; I can't see any other reason to despise this.
*But who hasn't, I think Keith and him have accidentally done it at least a dozen times.
Grace Potter and the Nocturnals- "Apologies"
I saw her last week? Kind of. I was there at least, but I was too busy dancing with lesbians and old men. She didn't play this song, but then again, it is a huge buzzkill and she rocks live. Rocks the bangs, that is.* In all reality, the song really is a good way of describing how douchey a boyfriend I am, and how even douchier I get afterwards. I'm such a douche, but I rocked some kickass bangs in 2002.
*Bullets can be sent through the mail. I promise to shoot myself in a non-vital area for writing that. Somewhere below the waist, away from major arteries.
**Dammit, can't stop writing it. Your reward is more of Grace Potter.
Rilo Kiley- "The Good That Won't Come Out of Us"
I like this video, both for the song and the old very plain Jenny Lewis. On there older tours, she didn't look quite as glamorous/forward as she does now. Even by the song I was gonna first post, she had done herself up. She is an effortless beauty even without though.* I always wanted to see her in concert, but the restraining order is pretty straight-forward.
*Despite the unavoidable case of the Gingeritis (Which is apparently a recognized word on my site)
For your taxidermy fetish.
The Bridges- "Pieces"
Three women with bangs, and four total. Sold. Now, of all the female musicians I love, I'm not really entranced with any of them. I love Neko Case's voice, but I don't really crush on her. The lead singer here is my one free crush on a rock star. No matter the situation, if I meet her I'm allowed to be completely awkward and off-putting as I am towards every woman I find interesting, or as I like to call it my irresistible seduction technique.* Now, if the freakin' dude wasn't making that o-face in the background, this video would not be remotely creepy to watch repeatedly, but I can't stop thinking that he does that when he plays drums two feet from his sisters.**
*Italics are the only way you could hear me saying that in a sexier voice, which, I learned yesterday, is also my morning Starbucks voice. Hey, don't knock it, I got my coffee for free.
**Insert Alabama incest joke that is slightly less disturbing than having Lynyrd Skynyrd sing your state song.
Feist- "Mushaboom"
Mostly, this entire play-list is the soundtrack for (500) Days of Summer, which is canon for the bang enthusiasts.* You can tell by now that the women aren't always my type. Leslie Feist looks like Karen Allen, and Karen Allen was smoking hot in "Animal House" and "Raiders of the Lost Ark". She looks like Karen Allen in "The Sandlot".
*If there are any. My ego hopes so.
Diane Birch-"Nothing but a Miracle"
Tiny woman with a large voice, bare shoulders, faux gospel music about things that are pertinent to living as opposed to religion,* and a brunette. This rocks my world. What are the chances that I would be up watching Letterman and see this performance? I hate Letterman, but some things are just fate and his musical guests are always top shelf. I love this album, and accidents like this need to happen to me more often. Wait, I'm a glass half-full kind of guy; awesome stuff happens to me all the the time because I'm awesome. However, usually not in the form of attractive talented women, that would be wonderful though if you actually care Santa.** I was good this year, relatively.
*Not that it isn't pertinent to death, what do I know?
**Never too early to begin Christmas shopping for yourself.
Murder By Death-"Brother"
The obligatory reference to my favorite band with a cello. Of course, the cellist has bangs for this video which has the best description ever. Bangs make her silence even more mysterious. Seriously, the first time I heard her speak was freaky, because she always looks this intense when playing. Women with that sort of intensity reek of danger.* Which meek men like me love, and watch from a safe distance.
*My middle name is Nathaniel, which means danger in the old country, Ireland. Or Jameson means danger, I can't remember which.
**Most likely, Jameson.
She and Him-"Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?"
Obviously, the list had to end with Zooey. Most men's lists do.*
*Only makes sense if you think of Dave from Ozzie's.
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