We used to have to struggle to learn about people; do the legwork necessary to have friends, lovers, and family. The Internet has taken that and lessened it to 140 characters, at most around 30 words or 46 LOL's if you are 13. Statements attesting to what people are thinking or doing says a great deal about the person, or in my case says nothing at all. Fundamentally, I've found it shows what makes a person tick, or perhaps what their actual wants, needs, and desires are. Now this presents a huge issue of sharing your feelings, which some are willing and others not so much. This creates a gap in your collective knowledge about people and in doing so directly changes your views of the person. Now, this happens in many ways.
People who publicly fight private wars bother me intensely. The idea of breaking up with someone in the past was easy, you do it you move on. You perhaps never hear from the person again, or perchance have only random meetings that may be awkward but friendly. Currently, there is a digital side-taking that previously never existed, where even if you remove the person from your friend list, the likelihood of another person passing information is much higher. Awkwardly, if both sides feel strongly and post nonstop about their feelings, the friends of both are bombarded by vitriol that is akin to having a Gay Military orgy at the Westboro Baptist Church. Furthermore, one feels the need to either delete the friends or mediate the vitriol and puts themselves in a awkward position.
Some of my friends, my sister mainly, talk about their children. While I encourage all people to be proud of and marvel in this, we are being confronted with a generation that already has no privacy from its federal government, but now has a childhood's worth of embarrassment and hilarious regret coming around adolescence. Remember this is an opinion coming from one without children nor no immediate desire to be a father, so it's not an actual argument to make. I assume if that day came, I would probably do the same, unless I had a red-headed son. He has enough worries coming to him around adolescence. Hopefully, he avoids the nickname Firecrotch, because it doesn't age well. Then again, the same guys called me White Lightning, which was kind of cool.
I particularly take umbrage with the lamentations of women on Facebook. I have never taken a serious Psychology class in my life, and still I would say that I have a decent understanding of women. That statement may seem like a lot because men in general have no fucking clue (myself included), but my lifestyle determines the difference (More on that when we discuss my digital self). The main ideas of lamentations are the same and I have bitched incessantly about them: where are good men and my boyfriend is a dick. Now, sometimes these are parsed with the epically gooey I have the best relationship of all time, and frankly when there can only be one everyone is most likely wrong. I would say that I take offense since I am a nice guy, but that would be untrue and perhaps a bit trite. I take offense because the repetition borders on moronic.
Now, that I have eschewed my two least favorite updates or tweet types and the children updates which don't bother nor please me, there are the remaining types: your actual actions, what you are going to do, important announcements, music lyrics, movies/TV quotes, Biblical passages, subtle jabs, political/sports thoughts, and completely inane thoughts. Sure there are others, but these are the ones that typically happen.
The actions you are currently doing is generally what the status was supposed to tell. On MySpace, they include emotions, which help instill a sense of humanity into a completely inhuman digital documentation of your current state. While not helpful to others, they tell what drives you, whether it be working out, walking a dog, household work, work, church, etc. etc. Telling what you are going to do is either a reach for pity, a subtle jab, or a public service to tell others where to find you for drinks, sex, ritual sacrifice, rumrunning, NASCAR, and cock fights. This says you either have a secret disdain for your life, friends, or perhaps that you want others to join in your exploits. If you make an announcement (I'm getting married, I am married, I'm dead, I'm gay, I'm surprisingly straight, I got a job, I graduated, etc. etc.), again this is a cause for others to share in your joy or to show others that your life far outpaces theirs.
Now quoting things is where the line blur between true meanings and inanity. Some people, mostly lovesick women, quote music lyrics which say something they couldn't say in their own words or just do it better. Now, I could do this all day as my music is heavy in deep lovesick sonnets. It says not that the people aren't creative enough to emote on their own, but rather that music taste says more about a person than their own words do at times. The devolution of the English language makes lyrical genius that much more apt to describe the common man or woman's language than some vain, trite piece (like I am writing now). Quoting TV or movies is the male equivalent, usually dangling for laughs, attention, or perhaps like me both. The type of movie or show tells more than the quote itself. I know every line in Star Wars, but would rather quote Serenity because Malcolm Reynolds is more akin to me than Han Solo. Biblical passages say something else. They are a strong statement of faith in an arena where faith is a non-issue. Finding God on the Internet is like finding porn in a nursery, it's probably a bad sign and won't give you the pleasure that finding it elsewhere would.
Sports, politics, and subtle jabs are just aims to get the ire of certain people. They get the most comments with the least thought. Or in case of my friends Katy and Schwartz the longest comments with the most thought. Depends on the arena. Subtle jabs are either lover's quarrels or jealousy-inspired, sometimes cryptic but always understood by the receiving party with the public aspect just adding more derision.
Now, to where I come from. I don't have a gooey relationship. I'm not sure who my best friend is, and almost have gotten to a point where to say I had one would be insulting to a host of people. I don't have an awesome or an awful job. I hate school, but am completely at peace with that. No kids, no extremely profound hobbies, no enemies, and no real issues with the world. I am merely an Observer, which gives me great stories but rarely any personal feelings. Having previously stated boldly that I know more of a woman's mind than I should, explanation may be necessary. I spend the majority of my time in the company of beautiful women; in essence, life occurs at the whims of beauty. This gives me further understanding of a woman's problems, whereas the male problems I covered in rapid succession in my teens and aren't extremely pertinent or useful in life.* However, despite the understanding, I lack the necessary tact to apply such lessons currently. Most notably, I still have no idea what to do when women actually are interested in me, as opposed to the usual humorous sidekick role I play.
*The male psyche is much easier to understand. We have simple needs and express them in simple terms. I marvel at how women take bruises to their psyches that build, but men's psyches are cut not leaving permanent marks inspiring much more immediate anger and bitterness. An insult to my manliness may destroy my self-esteem and put me on tilt, but the next day I probably won't care. Women are berated constantly with degradation (usually from other women or media imagery) and usually stand firm, only to have it constantly linger on their minds.
Everyone else has something to say and it may not be interesting but they are actively doing it. In comparison, I live a life almost completely inside of my own head, which is incredibly boring in a physical sense but never boring intellectually. This is the inanity and says something deeply about me. Perhaps it's a whimsical side that is ever apparent, or a romantic side which I hold reserved as I would a fine scotch. Maybe sometimes it's a hypothetical Royals season, which I most certainly fantasized. Or a subtle jab directed at one woman who didn't deserve my scorn nor my apathy. The truth is that our digital projections, whether done subconsciously or meticulously, are really what we think of ourselves and everyone else; nevertheless, we may never acknowledge it. To escape vanity and curiousity, it would perhaps be for the best.
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