Facebook Retread: The Love of My Life orThe Nonsensical Ravings of A True Lunatic

Just re-posting this on my blog, because I like it the most.

This is the first of my many steps into blogging. I'm personally not a fan. Blogging is to writing, as rapping is to music. However, currently I am enrolled in a Feature Writing class that has sucked all of my creative juices out of me, so I use this as my brainstorming pad. Except this way, anyone willing/unlucky enough, gets to see how crazy I am. I apologize for the length, I'm trying to build my writing length as I tend to be too straight-forward in conveying emotion.*

*I may frequently use/over-use Posterisks in my stories to pay homage to the great writer Joe Posnanski. They also allow me to write stream of consciousness without changing subjects mid-paragraph. And no Joe Posnanski is not the love of my life. Feel free to skip them to speed the process of reading, but you'll be sorry. Hint: The last Posterisk answers "The Question".

As many of you know, I speak of my first love...music.* Now, I am not a musician, so this would seem illogical. Then again, who ever said that love was a logical concept. Is it logical for two people to decide that they will love one another and no other as strongly as the day they fell in love forever? As an optimist I actually believe that is possible, so that was a bad example. Is it logical to love the outdoors or your Nazi grandparents? No, but you still get ticks on your body and praise Deutschland Now, think of what you are asked to do when you marry(commit to loving) someone.

*This is not a joke as much as the Music department of my high school thinks it is. As CSS said music is my hot hot sex

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Now, I apply the same principles I would apply to the bride to music. Barring deafness*, I will hear music playing until I die. Music was playing when I caught my first touchdown, had my first kiss, had awkward sex with people, and will be when I am married and my children are born. ** When I drove my Ford Ranger into a tree while it held my recently evicted belongings, music was on the radio.

*Ironically, the majority of my generation will go deaf due to music
**I suggest "Lightning Crashes" by Live. However, bring a stereo. Headphones leave open the idea of strangulation to the bearer of your child, and she will do it.

I'm not sure about this for richer part, but it certainly does it's job uplifting/depressing me when I'm poor. I'm shocked about how much the "for poorer" clause, doesn't apply to marriage, but music won't leave me when I just gave the family savings to my trusted Coke mule.* In sickness and health, applies similarly, but I don't think that sickness should ever be reason to terminate a relationship. **

*Come on honey, now we can sell the Coke. It's a brilliant plan. What? I already snorted it all off the babysitter's ass. She's 18, I think. Wait, that was a a boy. Oh, the shower, I get it now.
**Unless you are a Republican. In that case, it is perfectly acceptable to mimic the scum of the earth. See Gingrich, N

This is my favorite part, "To love and to Cherish". The relationship between music/musicians and the fan.* This is always there. Ask any artist how much they enjoy playing for fans, and how much they cherish those moments on stage. From what I gather, recording is painful with it's moments of fun. Seeing thousands of people manipulate your creation for their gain, whether through theft** or douchebaggery*** (see Record Companies). You will always cherish this romance.

*Exception: Metallica. Bastards
**I'm sorry
***John Oliver used it on the Daily Show, so I'm now comfortable adding it to the lexicon

Until death, you should never part with your the music you love. Even if your first girlfriend sits on and breaks your Dead Prez album*, it is always available in your head and your soul. My best example is my brother Ryan. Turn on oldies and Ryan knows every song by heart, without ever owning an oldies CD. He keeps them stored away, and if he is like me brings them back whenever he feels like it During my Spanish quiz today, I was listening to Estelle in my head. Music is a persistent companion

*I'm talking about Mind Sex/ We ain't got to take our clothes off yet/ We could burn the incense and just chat/ Relax, I got the good vibration/ Before we make love, let's have a nice conversation

Now, I have given justification for you to marry the White Album or all of the Sex Pistols, but let's get back on topic. I was using music in the polygamous sense. There is no logical reason to love one band or artist and no others for eternity. It is natural for you to go the buffet and think I love Meatloaf*, but to also fill your plate with mashed potatoes, and soft-serve ice cream with sprinkles and gummy bears.** Since you are inclined to be polygamous in all your loves, how does one settle down against his or her natural wishes? The answer...shock. One requires something that blows you away in the sense that you cannot imagine your life without it, a moment or a growing sense of belonging. Why are diamonds popular? They never fail to shock someone.

*I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.
**No one should enjoy this idea after they reach adulthood. Honestly, the food sits out for hours while numerous humans with god knows what diseases touch it.

I write now of the band that blew me away, that changed my life. Now, you could call this crazy or unlikely, and I could say the same for the idea of you ever finding love. That would be cruel, and for most people, untrue. That thought should allow you to hold judgment for a moment. * The band I speak of is the Airborne Toxic Event. Now, you may not have heard of them, and I may have just met them, but that is of no concern. They told me the story of heartbreak that rings too close, even for those who have not experienced it in the same sense, and I had to know more. So I sent in my wing-man, YouTube, to inquire more. What YouTube showed me knocked me off my feet; gave the shock I needed.

*This is not actually possible. People are cruel and judgmental upon birth. Only through the kindness of others can they undo their prefabricated thought processes, but never completely. I for one think you, the reader, are fat. Hit the gym. **
**For how to take a joke in poor taste, see my article on Fraternity life.

The Airborne Toxic Event had played each of their songs in a different location, in a different way. Every one was done in a single take and done acoustically. For those of you still trying to wrap up my women=music analogy, you should picture a brunette walking over to me at, let's say, an Obama rally. She is carrying a Boulevard Wheat in one hand and I would say beautiful, a word used too often and yet not enough. She has a smile that could power the Dakotas.* I love a great smile. She opens with a joke, which frankly isn't that funny, but her delivery and pure joy is amazing. She begins to talk to me of the lack of offensive line depth on the Chiefs, and how Jesus was a cool cat, but no more the son of God than any of us.** You know some one opinionated as I am, but as reserved in declining the opinions of others**** That's enough, I had to turn on "Brick" by Ben Folds to bring myself down.

*Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
I was lucky enough to be near her so i told her.
Funnily enough I missed the freckles on her shoulder,
and that even on the hottest of nights her skin was colder.

And also do the Dakotas have power yet?

**No need to argue this. I already reserved my circle in hell. Right next to Al Gore for inventing mass transit for porn ***
***Al Gore never said he invented the Internet and that previous line about Gingrich was also misleading
****I know this woman is rare, aside of Natalie Portman and a woman I used to work with whose name escapes me, which makes this band all the more amazing.

Now, what amazes me and makes them so perfect is how they envelop all my loves. I have loved women with perfect smiles, with similar interests, women who loved beer for the taste not for the effect, and women who were kind. All of them I have loved with different depths and emotion. Bands are the same. Think of how the trumpet changes Cake. Or the joy of Old 97's when they sing songs about loss and loneliness*, the lyrical genius of Damien Rice, and when I'm in the mood the upbeat tempo of salsa music.**

*The new kid he's got my girl/ the girl I used to have/He's got the looks/You know he got them from his dad/I should be kissing that girl/We should be so in love/There is no justice/ there's just dark skies above

**I love to dance, but I find dancing to rap/pop music so pointless. Why don't we just go somewhere and have sex instead of dry-humping ourselves to death in public. I will square dance, first.

This band combined those things for me. I love classical music, so much that I listen to it on the radio.*So take rock music and add a violin or bass, and you start off well.** Then, add in some Damien Rice-quality lyrics, and a good rock tempo in back. Now, make sure the lead singer keeps himself plain enough looking to not intimidate me, and give the female group member some verses to sing. Now, perform your songs as if you would be happy performing them, while the Titanic sank below you.

*If you seriously do this, congratulations you just killed another of Joe's uniquely queer characteristics
*Take a girl I'm mildly attracted to and give her a beautiful singing voice, same effect

That is the Airborne Toxic Event. Watch them perform "Sometime Around Midnight" acoustically, and tell me that you can't feel the song within you as he nearly breaks into tears. Watch the drummer play while he drives a boat, and try not to feel the whimsy of such a display. Listen to "Happiness in Overrated" and try not to imagine your parents listening to the same song when they were teens*. See the YouTube user threaten to marry the video for "Movng On", instead of the typical threats by YouTube users to pleasure your mother. The end result of my hearing this is Love.The moment you know you have found something that you must have with you forever and unconditionally. Shockingly, it feels the same way (in your head, at least). That is the beauty of music. Or whatever or whomever you feel the same about.

*My parents are dinosaurs
**Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

If I had a heart, the Chiefs would break it

I've taken my time in absorbing this latest blow. Though admittedly, I felt this one coming. When my boss accidentally cut the feed to the Chiefs game right before the two-point conversion, I knew someone out there didn't want me to have to see this. Nothing could be more horrifying than the last two minutes of this game was.* If I didn't have a sense of humor or didn't believe in the inevitability of the Chiefs losing in such ways,** I might have thrown something. I was also sleep deprived and probably didn't have the energy to imitate Bobby Knight.

*I correct myself: Royals sign Kyle Farnsworth to 2 year deal worth $9.25 million.
**Playing to win the game results in a a 44-66 career record, and 1-3 playoff record.

The main concern I have is how accustomed the Chiefs are to blowing games, as one could argue that with aggressive play-calling while leading games the Chiefs would be five wins better.* They just don't know how to win a ballgame, and sadly enough they have been in and sometimes outplayed their opponents in nine of their games. Once the feed was lost, the avalanche of fate was already started.

*Ironically, they lost the previous Chargers game by being aggressive and going for the win as opposed to overtime.

The last three minutes were a symbolic representation of the Chiefs since I have been a fan of them: Victory was imminent, only to be stolen/given away. Sure, they gave up an 89 yard drive in 3 1/2 minutes without the Chargers using a timeout, but that only made it 21-16. The next plays were ridiculous. I will admit that the onside kick was the best I've seen in a while, with a great second bounce, but as the top receiver on an NFL team, you have to hold that ball. Still, the Chargers had sixty yards to go to get to the end zone.

Guess Who's Coming to the White House

Matt Drayton: Now Mr. Prentice, clearly a most reasonable man, says he has no wish to offend me but wants to know if I'm some kind of a *nut*. And Mrs. Prentice says that like her husband I'm a burned-out old shell of a man who cannot even remember what it's like to love a woman the way her son loves my daughter. And strange as it seems, that's the first statement made to me all day with which I am prepared to take issue... cause I think you're wrong, you're as wrong as you can be. I admit that I hadn't considered it, hadn't even thought about it, but I know exactly how he feels about her and there is nothing, absolutely nothing that you son feels for my daughter that I didn't feel for Christina. Old- yes. Burned-out- certainly, but I can tell you the memories are still there- clear, intact, indestructible, and they'll be there if I live to be 110. Where John made his mistake I think was in attaching so much importance to what her mother and I might think... because in the final analysis it doesn't matter a damn what we think. The only thing that matters is what they feel, and how much they feel, for each other. And if it's half of what we felt- that's everything. As for you two and the problems you're going to have, they seem almost unimaginable, but you'll have no problem with me, and I think when Christina and I and your mother have some time to work on him you'll have no problem with your father, John. But you do know, I'm sure you know, what you're up against. There'll be 100 million people right here in this country who will be shocked and offended and appalled and the two of you will just have to ride that out, maybe every day for the rest of your lives. You could try to ignore those people, or you could feel sorry for them and for their prejudice and their bigotry and their blind hatred and stupid fears, but where necessary you'll just have to cling tight to each other and say "screw all those people"! Anybody could make a case, a hell of a good case, against your getting married. The arguments are so obvious that nobody has to make them. But you're two wonderful people who happened to fall in love and happened to have a pigmentation problem, and I think that now, no matter what kind of a case some bastard could make against your getting married, there would be only one thing worse, and that would be if - knowing what you two are and knowing what you two have and knowing what you two feel- you didn't get married. Well, Tillie, when the hell are we gonna get some dinner?

The first time I watched “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” was poignantly the day before Election Day 2008. Why poignant you ask? Well, if the above statement doesn’t say it all, I believe you are a lost cause. The truth is, when Barack Hussein Obama was born, neither interracial child nor couple had the same rights in all fifty states of our wonderful union. The beauty of this movie I believe is in the naivety of Miss Drayton, in which she doesn’t see black and white. She is just marrying a successful charming man who happens to be an African-American. The fears of the Draytons are not racist fears, they are supportive of blacks (whatever their social situation that includes black servants may be) but do not trust the judgment of their daughter, Dr. Prentice is not naïve and understands, and will not go through with the marriage without the consent of the parents.